I hope you’re having a great week! Just wanted to let you know the
podcast and post is up! I want to thank you again for helping us and
being apart of our “team”. Hope you like it, I’ve pasted the link below.
Disney Baby: http://www.disneybaby.com/contributors/chad-carter/
Thank you Dads Who Diaper (http://www.dadswhodiaper.com) for asking me to weigh in: PARENTING How to Pick a Guardian for your Child July 8, 2014 by Chad
In celebrating the birth and life of a brand new baby, one of the last things (if not at all) on the minds of parents is the idea of picking a guardian for your child(ren) in case of a tragedy.
If it’s your first child you may never have discussed the idea of who may care for your new bouncing baby if you and your spouse were to die. It’s a conversation that isn’t easy to have at any time, but one that could become one of the most important things you do as a parent. Planning ahead and putting your wishes on paper can make a significant impact on your child’s life. In addition, to providing comfort and peace of mind for you.
Choosing a guardian for some may be easy, for others difficult. Spouses often have differing perspectives and ideas about who should become legal guardians, and family can play no small role as well.
Attorney Michelle-Shari Kruss, specializes in estate planning and says start with a list.
“When considering whether someone should be on the list, ask yourself, ‘would they provide a better home for my children than the foster care system?’” While most people you know would likely fall into the “yes” category, take it a step further. List the factors you and your spouse feel are most important in raising your children.
Kruss suggests considering these and more.
Presence of children in home already
Interest in and relationship with your children
Ability to meet physical demands of child care
Religion or spirituality
Marital or family status
Social and moral habits and values
Willingness to adopt your children
Using those criteria along with your own, you can match each factor with your list of potential guardians to help narrow those who you may choose. If even after all of this, you still are having trouble selecting just one couple or person, Kruss suggests consider a “Guardianship Panel.”
“The panel can consist of family members, loved ones and trusted friends who will decide together as a group who would be the best guardian for your children when and if the time comes.”
You alone are the only ones who can truly decide who is best to potentially raise your children. While the topic is not one new or established parents want to discus, keeping your family together and cared for is an important step parents must consider as they enter the most joyous time of their lives.
You can find more on guardianship and family law from Michelle-Shari Kruss on her blog here.
“It was overwhelming to think through all of these scenarios, but comforting to see the start of a plan in place”. Thank you Michelle-Shari for helping us help our family.
What Every Parent Should Know About Wills and Trusts
Michelle-Shari Kruss, Attorney at Law
Our children are our greatest treasures, yet far to many parents don’t have a will. And for those who have done their drafting so many have made at least one of the 10 most common mistakes that leave their children and estate at risk.
Please let me know if you want me to send over a quick list to make sure that you, your spouse/partner and most of all, those who depend on you to help them since they cannot help themselves (your children and your pets) have at least the basics covered.
A child never needs to be alone.
This caught my eye in a Multnomah Village antique shop window.
In my 17 years of practice I have been lucky/honored to be actively involved (either as a Board Member or Community Volunteer) at 3 local no kill shelters and animal hospitals.
This statement comes up frequently….
“I never felt that I needed to have a Will because I don’t have any children who depend on me for their care. Then I realized, my goodness, I DO have a dependent! Who will take care of my pet if I become incapacitated, have emergency requiring overnight medical treatment or, if, gosh forbid, I pass away?”
If you have pets, you may think of them as your children. Yet, while many folks provide for their actual children in their estate plan, they might not make any provision for their pets—or even know that this is allowed.
Pets of owners who are suddenly unable to take care of their four legged (or two in the case of our Spectacled Amazon Parrot) because of an incapacity or death…. Sometimes; run away, are taken to a shelter, put up for adoption or euthanized. I recently read that the Humane Society of the United States estimates that 4 to 5 million pets are euthanized annually, with more than 1 million of these as a direct result of the failure of their owners to provide for their pets in the event of death or incapacity. I am not sure if this is the case. But just the possibility that this is true is indeed very disquieting.
This doesn’t have to happen to your pets.
If you care about your pet, PLEASE do not leave things up in the air.
Put your wishes in writing, and keep your pets out of court. They wouldn’t have a clue what to wear, anyway.
Here is some sample language to look at. But please do not use this without some advice from an attorney licensed in your state and who knows your personal planning needs.
As a matter of high priority and importance, I direct my Personal Representative to place any and all animals I may own at the time of my death with another individual or family (that is, in a private, no institutionalized setting) where such animals will be cared for in a manner that any responsible, devoted pet owner would afford to his or her pets. Prior to initiating such efforts to place my animals, I direct my Personal Representative to consult ______________________, D.V.M. (currently at the _______________________ Hospital), or, in the event of Dr. _____________’s unavailability, a veterinarian chosen by my Personal Representative, to ensure that each animal is in generally good health and is not suffering physically. In addition, I direct my Personal Representative to provide any needed, reasonable veterinary care that my animal(s) may need at that time to restore the animal(s) to generally good health and to alleviate suffering, if possible. Any animal(s) not in generally good health or who is so suffering—and whose care is beyond the capabilities of veterinary medicine, reasonably employed, to restore to generally good health or to alleviate suffering—shall be euthanized, cremated, and the ashes disposed of at the discretion of my Personal Representative. Any expenses incurred for the care (including the costs of veterinary services), placement, or transportation of my animals, or to otherwise effect the purposes of this Article ___________ up to the time of placement, shall be charged against the principal of my residuary estate. Decisions my Personal Representative makes under this Article ____________________—for example, with respect to the veterinary care to be afforded to my animal(s) and the costs of such care—shall be final. My intention is that my Personal Representative have the broadest possible discretion to carry out the purposes of this paragraph.
This morning, Kim Weir, author and radio show host, http://www.engagingwomen.com, kindly gave me permission to share her very very funny story about a mom’s first Will.
I hope you enjoy Kim’s writing as much as I have. Please feel free to visit her site and blog as well.
The Strong-Willed Mother by Kim Wier
It’s settled. If I die tomorrow, an inheritance is secured for my family. They needn’t worry about their future. I have a Will.
I won’t pretend that I understand every nuance of the document, in part because everyone involved apparently gets a new name. My husband and I were the first to be rechristened. I am Testatrix. He is Executor. It sounds as if we are rulers from the planet Zorg.
All three of my children are henceforth to be known by one common name, Beneficiary. This one I may actually adopt at home. I might appear less senile if I could keep their names straight for a change. I sense their confidence in my mental capacity diminishing each time I tell Bailey to get his homework done, only to hear, “I’m Chase, Mom, remember?”
Now I can just say, “Don’t argue with me, Beneficiary, I am Testatrix, ruler of intergalactic discipline.”
It isn’t just people who have been renamed. My mortgaged house has been elevated to a new position. Instead of a two story with an overgrown lawn, it is an Estate. Even my debts have become nobler. They are no longer just bills; they are now Encumbrances. It’s a fitting name, since apparently, even if I die, they get passed along to my heirs.
Other aspects of inheritances are not so simple. In the Will and Testament world, every bequeath, no matter how small, requires a translator. It would be impossible to simply say that I would like my favorite teacup to go to my daughter. This type of request would require an official memorandum directing my Executor to properly dispose of any portion of my personal and household effects according to Article 2 and subject to probate. After all, should anyone contest the teacup issue, it must be able to stand up under judicial scrutiny.
Which brings me to my favorite part of the Will. According to Article 9, “If any beneficiary shall contest the validity of the Will, then all benefits provided for such beneficiary are revoked.” In other words, “Don’t argue with your mother.” You’ve got to love a document that gives you the last word.